By Heather B
Check in with yourself too.
London, UK. -Today is world suicide prevention day, and whilst today is an important reminder to check in with the people around us, I want to encourage you to do something else too: check in with yourself. Not just today. Everyday. Don’t allow cultural beliefs, false narratives or the pressure to keep going to convince you that you simply need to pray harder, get another degree, go on a shopping spree, book another holiday or have another gym session to remove what you are battling with internally. Sometimes we need to actually pause and confront what is going on within us. Journal. Talk to a therapist. Speak to a safe person. Speak to a professional. Give yourself permission to be honest about how you are really doing. And if you don’t have a safe person, please seek professional support. There is help available, and you do not have to carry everything alone.
Samaritans: 116 123: free, day or night.
NHS: 111 for urgent mental health support.
Papyrus hopeline247: 0800 068 4141 or text hope to 88247 for young people and those concerned about them.
And if you prefer not to talk, there are support services that allow you to communicate by text. Not being comfortable speaking does not mean you have to remain silent. I never want us to feel that we have to hide, suppress or minimise what we are experiencing just to feel like we belong. You matter. Your wellbeing matters. Your emotions matter. Ask yourself: why am I embarrassed to seek help? Why do I feel ashamed when
certain thoughts come to mind? Why do I feel sad about feeling sad? Why do I feel uncomfortable admitting that I need help? Why do I struggle to receive the same care, love and attention that I freely give to others?
Sometimes we can be so good at showing up, smiling, posting, serving, encouraging everyone else and carrying on with life that people cannot see what we are carrying. They are also dealing with their struggles. And learn how to speak to yourself, so that you don’t become embarrassed by the sound of your own voice when you need to ask for help. People do want to help, but nobody is a mind reader. Sometimes we have to learn how to communicate what we are experiencing even if the language at the time is tears and silence. Start small. Find that one safe person. Put boundaries around that relationship. Share what you feel comfortable sharing, and slowly, you can begin to become more confident in speaking up for yourself, advocating for yourself and finding ways to protect and maintain your mental wellbeing. You don’t have to tell everybody everything. But you do need to give yourself permission to tell somebody something. Today, whilst you are checking in on your friends and family, please check in with yourself too. Especially if you are someone who is always checking on everyone else.
Don’t normalise ignoring yourself. You are here for a reason. You are here for a purpose. Don’t ignore yourself. Don’t abandon yourself. Allow yourself to be seen, supported and cared for. Because you can post, receive hundreds of comments, likes, messages and words of encouragement, put your phone down, go home, lie
down in your bed and still feel exactly the same way. So use your voice online if that helps you express yourself (although I don’t encourage or even support people venting or projecting online), but don’t let social media become the only place where your pain gets heard. Let somebody hear you beyond the screen too. Whatever support you need, give yourself permission to seek it. You don’t have to wait until things become overwhelming before you reach out. Start with one safe person, one conversation, one step. Asking for help is not a weakness. It is an important part of caring for yourself.
Additionally: whoever has told you that your mental wellbeing is not important or going to seek help outside of your church is unbiblical, or that you should just focus on going to church more, praying more and reading your bible more; when you are dealing with hard issues internally does not like you or themselves, does not care for your soul, is wicked and does not represent the heart of Christ. Jesus never and would never ignore your wellbeing and tell you to serve it away. If the barriers of not seeking professional help came from the church, I’m sorry. That is not from God. God cares about your mental wellbeing. Your wellbeing is important to him, and you can see that throughout the bible. So do not allow the enemy to make you a puppet because of these wicked narratives. Do not allow the enemy to play games with your life because of all the doors that remain open simply because of the narratives you have heard in church or from people who claim to represent Christ. You can pray and still seek help. You can read your bible and still speak to a therapist whilst all at the same time, surrendering them to God!!! Renewal of the mind is biblical (Romans 12:2)!
We say it a lot: seeking support does not mean you lack faith. But I also want us to recognise that not seeking help can affect your faith and your relationship with God too. It can in fact weaken it and position you in lukewarmness if you stay spiritually bypassing anything that brings discomfort or pain. When you continue to carry things that need to be addressed, they can begin to affect how you see yourself, how you see other people and even how you see God. Sometimes what we are carrying internally can distort our perspective, affect our relationships and make it difficult to receive the love, truth and promises of God. This is why getting help is important. Please do not allow anyone’s wicked narrative to convince you that you have to suffer in silence. Your mental wellbeing matters. Your life matters. And God cares about you. You matter.
#worldsuicidepreventionday
